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Comedian Takes On Halal TV Girls


Credits: Hans Teeuwen, Halal TV Girls

After Hans sang a funny song in the rain, the Alariachi girls bring him on their show to confront him for insulting them and religion. It didn't go as they expected.

Alariachi Girls : He wrote a song about us recently, or a verse at least. My, what an honour, one complete verse.

Hans Teeuwen: Yes, and it even rhymed.

Alariachi Girls : Hold on, we will do the intro and then you comment. We thought the verse was vulgar, inappropriate and so on. To give these people an image of what we are talking about.

Clip of Hans Singing: Christdogs and goat-fuckers, everybody joins in Jesus and Muhammad on a public toilet. No, I am not allowed to hurt, I apologize and shall punish myself with a blow job from the Halal TV girls. The uncensored word! Hurray, hurray, the uncensored word!

Alariachi Girls : Have a seat on the pain bench. No, on your back. You are not getting a massage.

Hans Teeuwen: Why not?

Alariachi Girls : He is under heat and he still can't feel it.

Hans Teeuwen: No, it is rubber, just rubber, look. (Takes out lighter and starts rubber on fire)

Alariachi Girls : Fire-starter, hello? You must have lost your sense of humour, long time since you had a show?

Hans Teeuwen: No, I just had one in Scotland.

Alariachi Girls : Congratulations. Why did you insult us?

Hans Teeuwen: Well I thought it was funny.

Alariachi Girls : What was so funny about it?

Hans Teeuwen: Well, since you are ought to refrain from sexual relations, I thought it was funny to put you in such a context.

Alariachi Girls : You found that funny?

Hans Teeuwen: Yes, definately, and when it rhymes too, you've got a hit.

Alariachi Girls : Did a lot of people laugh with that joke? Including yourself?

Hans Teeuwen: Yes, and you know who else? An Amsterdam official. It was the mayor, I saw him sitting and he was trying his best not to laugh, but lost it at that line. And I was thinking, now I am definitely doing a good job.

Alariachi Girls : We asked for the news, not the weather. Why did you have the need to insult us?

Hans Teeuwen: I had to write a song and stand there in the cold and it was freaking raining as well so I had to come up with something good.

Alariachi Girls : Now hold on, you have to answer our question.

Hans Teeuwen: I am not obliged to do anything! (Crowd laughs)

Alariachi Girls : We are kind ladies, aren't we? You don't talk like this to kind ladies, right?

Hans Teeuwen: What are your names so I can address you properly.

Alariachi Girls : Miss Alariachi (3 times)

Hans Teeuwen: Alariachi? Alariachi! Alariachi! (Crowd laughs)

Alariachi Girls : Come on, be serious for a minute! Why do you insult so much?

Hans Teeuwen: I don't insult a lot at all. I make jokes.

Alariachi Girls : Yes, you do, you insult us for example.

Hans Teeuwen: Well, that's not a lot, is it? But you can support each other, process it together.

Alariachi Girls : You insult many religions.

Hans Teeuwen: Well, like I said, because I think its funny. Because anything that has a status has a kind of power, and power always corrupts. It must be allowed for it to be subjected to ridicule. When that is not possible anymore, you get nasty situations, a dictatorship or something. That's why ridicule is so important.

Alariachi Girls : Do you want to achieve something by insulting?

Hans Teeuwen: No, I want to make people laugh.

Alariachi Girls : So you are not trying to achieve a specific goal. For example when you insult Christians.

Hans Teeuwen: A goal? No, I look at the world and I see a lot of things. Some things I find extremely funny or silly and that is what I make my show about.

Alariachi Girls : Ayaan Hirsi Ali, I am sure you will agree with her, called for the right to insult a year ago.

Hans Teeuwen: Yes I agree one should have that right.

Alariachi Girls : But that is not the same as the right to free speech.

Hans Teeuwen: Well, an opinion can be insulting, you see? So it might be that when I give my opinion on something, this could be insulting to someone else. Furthermore, an insult is to some people a truth they are rather not confronted with. And this could mean that we can't talk about this or that because someone might be offended.

Alariachi Girls : So are you saying you insult knowingly or unknowingly?

Hans Teeuwen: Well when I do a show or make a song like that, my objective is to make a good song, something people can laugh at. And an insult can be very funny, too.

Alariachi Girls : Where do you draw the line? What is your limit?

Hans Teeuwen: The line should be drawn at violence.

Alariachi Girls : So its ok to get people boiling mad and then claim that as your limit?

Hans Teeuwen: Making people angry? Don't they choose to be angry?

Alariachi Girls : You insult a lot of people. This may be frustrating for many.

Hans Teeuwen: Look, its like you claim sensitivity and feeling insulted is a privilege for the religious only. Do you think when I turn on the TV, I don't see things that annoy me? That I don't feel insulted now and then? But one develops a shield to deal with these things. That's what you do in a free society because you are inevitably confronted with things you don't like. (Crowd cheers) The religous are very bad at this because they tend to believe they have a monopoly on the truth. They are eager to say: This is allowed and this is not allowed.

Alariachi Girls : But you can't say you don't purposely insult on stage.

Hans Teeuwen: But hold on, I just heard someone say that homosexuality is a sin; I just saw someone run away from a mini-skirt. I feel that is very insulting. But people can at least laugh at my insults.

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Don't expect these influences to perfectly agree with the content in our site. We don't speak for them, they've already spoken quite well for themselves; we simply hope you will study these Extraordinary People further.

Hans Teeuwen

Hans Teeuwen

is a Dutch comedian. His work has been described as whimsical, absurdist, apolitical and confrontational. Fearless even.

About Hans Teeuwen
Dave RubinThough one of those comedian turned commentator types,

Dave Rubin

has shown extraordinary courtesy to people he obviously disagrees with.

About Dave Rubin
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