News Of The World

Reinventing the tabloid format by admitting it's parody from the very first headline ripped off from real journalists. Updated every Sunday just like the old days. Embedded search links connect you to related articles for the deep dive we know you're craving.

Warning: Our programming is designed to make you think. Requires sense of humour.

Now that we're past a year of the global pandemic there's not much point in covering the news. It's all fake anyway so parody can't compete. lol! Cheers!

Next Update: TBD

If you can tell the origin of the stories covered here then you're just a little smarty pants who should Sign Up for a studio membership.

2020's News Of The World

• Hospitals refuse to increase capacity for fear it undermines political power.
• The only solutions to Covid acceptable to the man are the ones with maximum control of private lives.
• Who owns you, because it probably isn't who you think.
• Do you trust your local MLA's opinion over your own?
• If it's all about the data why don't any of us have any of it?

Headlines for the week of Dec. 20, 2020

• Magical thinking gets better than placebo results according to local experts.
• When you can't afford your drugs, consider gambling on a government program.
• Next time you run out of gas you can always chop down a tree and build a nearby cabin.
• Hunting is more than a sport, it's survival in a world where corporations won't hire you.
• Remember to always keep a full month of food stored just in case.

Headlines for the week of Dec. 13, 2020

• Flu seems to have disappeared... where did it go?
• Once in a while politicians do the right thing if the price is right.
• Artists create stories out of raw materials. Life from death.
• Originality is just the beginning.
• Wake up! You're asleep.

Headlines for the week of Dec. 6, 2020

• Magic is more than an illusion according to local politicians.
• The vikings are frozen in the old cooler behind the french fries.
• Sleep is the most popular form of exorcise in most small towns.
• Without ambition very little changes for the better.
• Local 7 year old yells at dog walker. "Hey mister, are you gonna pick up your dog's poo? I know you can hear me!"

Headlines for the week of Nov. 29, 2020

• One way or the other nature always wins.
• Major corporations struggle under the weight of the world's problems.
• By definition no-one ever has to go in non essential businesses so how can the government shut them down without over riding the will of grown adults?
• If the government can shut down your business what else can they shut down?
• We pay the tax and bureaucrats make our decisions for us.

Headlines for the week of Nov. 22, 2020

• Local artist runs in circles long enough to groove a river.
• Musical fish are underpaid in small ponds.
• Friends are often stranger than strangers during a pandemic.
• MSM says technology companies are here to protect us. And in other news phone companies are cutting off calls you shouldn't be making.
• Trapping, hunting and fishing is now more popular then gaming.

Headlines for the week of Nov. 15, 2020

• Dictionaries re-qualify the word fraud to require priviledge.
• Investing in organic paint leads to murals on dumpsters.
• Strange lights in the sky scare local cows.
• Musicians forget how to read music with no venues to book.
• A movie without popcorn is doomed without popular porn.

Headlines for the week of Nov. 8, 2020

• Scientists are studying a recent connection noted between winning elections and curing pandemics.
• Entire cities celebrate their efforts to save dog parks only to discover tourists have eaten their dogs.
• Can a President be a support animal? A nation is about to find out.
• According to local vampires the most important decisions are made in the dark.
• Guitar strings in high demand as most rare Earth minerals revealed to be spray painted lead.
• Crowds in the city streets weaken sewer foundations explaining that peculiar smell.

Headlines for the week of Nov. 1, 2020

• In a rare moment of candor, major news outlets admit ending tabloids ruined straight news.
• Halloween was abnormally subdued this year. Even the zombies stayed in their graves.
• Football would work much better without feet shaped balls.
• Most math is music masquerading as nerd porn.
• Scientists claim Mars as the next best place to bury Earth's collective treasure.
• A recent breakthrough in chemistry. Stupidity can be cured. In a side study the more stupid cured the less people buy stupid cures.

Headlines for the week of Oct. 25, 2020

• An unfortunate gremlin chokes and dies drinking the tears of its own failure.
• Big tech reaches out to little people when the glove doesn't fit.
• Local cult refuses to pay its power bill claiming they're enlightened.
• Zombie dog rises from the grave and starts chewing on its own bone.
• Critical thinking leads to migraines.
• Man has sex with rabid squirrel hoping to gain immunity.