But how much of yesterday's plan remains? Fragments. Perhaps there is the hint of a passionate memory, even an itch we can't quite scratch. Who were we yesterday and are we the same person today?
Some of us define ourselves by our work and others by our role within our family. Many wander aimlessly without a care in the world or a concern for the future. The diversity of approach is fascinating. Sometimes those who try hard get nowhere and often those who barely pay attention seem to stumble into success.
There are so many different games being played at the same time it's probably impossible to tell which is the high order and which is just energy making its way back into the zero state.
For every sorrow there is a joy, for every positive there is a negative. - Col. Wm. C. Hunter, Dollars and Sense, 1906
So when choosing from so many options, in a trance of varying opinions and vague recollections, how can we improve our chances of getting what we want? Or for that matter figuring out what we want. Since the me of today may be interested in completely different things than the me of yesterday. Is there a pattern, something real that connects time to result? Do I really matter or am I just consuming like an animal. Passing time.
So many failures aren't really failures; inconsequential and success seems so fleeting. Have no illusions, we will all be forgotten no matter how grand our achievements so when we ask ourselves what matters it can be difficult to distill. Maybe nothing; maybe everything. Family, friends, colleagues ...fans. Look inside, close your eyes, and let your mind play all the images that made a strong impression. How do you feel? Not what do you think, but how do you feel about what you are seeing?
Maybe some are memories, slightly altered for personal comfort, some wishful thinking and revisionist wish fulfillment. Do you see old friends and relatives you've lost? Places you were fond of, toys, old projects some finished and some left half done. Maybe a little reminder will jaunt you toward a new one. A phone call could be in order; a voice to bring you back to where you once were. Have you been forgotten or is their a small army of admirers thinking about you right now. Does the live experience change anything for you?
Every moment is yours, and only yours. Every experience unique; a treasure. We don't always see the gifts presented to us, but they are there and all we have to do is accept that nothing lasts. The incidental nature of experience makes it difficult to hold onto but wisdom is the certain knowledge that when we are good; productive; yesterday must have mattered to someone. Even when we can't remember, or never knew the impact of our behaviour, someone did; something changed...if for but a moment.
No point in grasping. Do you want to live forever? Do you want to be trapped in time, clinging to the last comfortable moment? What about pain and suffering, what about growth and discovery. Everything worth anything in life is hard. It's hard to be good. It's hard to be productive. It takes commitment and trust. You have to believe in yourself, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You have to imagine that those around you are part of something amazing and if you are lucky you'll enjoy a fleeting moment of passion; love even.
The best emotion, the most productive emotion so I'd suggest that the answer to why we do what we do is because we want to be loved. We never really leave our childhood, the investment our parents made in us is still inside warming us when it gets cold out here. Anything we do that matters is connected to love in some way.
Our own or to facilitate another. Not all of us meet our soul mate, and many don't have a family, yet when our heart is open we receive the love of others as a natural course of events. We become energetic in our desires. We give gifts, do favours, say kind words and help those who can't help themselves. The world is large and it takes many different approaches to shake out all that is wonderful from every moment. Nobody is strong all the time, or smart, or well positioned. Sometimes, with almost no effort at all we can nudge a small thing just a little bit, and watch someone else's life improve immeasurably.
Do you know what that feels like? To protect something. To save a moment for someone else with no personal gain...materially anyway. Once we realize what matters, it changes all our priorities and it doesn't matter so much whether we remember what we were doing yesterday or who we were because we are the manifestation of destiny; aligned with the universal principal. Caring about the smallest thing means more than a thousand sales or a million fans.
Forget glory and find comfort in the little things by realizing they aren't so little. Your little girl is bigger than the moon. Hearing your grandmother laugh, will soon matter more than the latest kicks. Helping your friend get out from debt, not because he will pay you back, but because he'll be able to give his children a better start in life. These are the things that matter because these are acts of love. Unselfish, spectacular, meaningful love.
Now again I ask you. What really matters to you?